The Truth About Our First Year of Marriage
The Truth About Our First Year of Marriage
One year of marriage - that went by faster than I thought it would! Adam and I have been so, so busy over the last year with our jobs, starting this blog, visiting family and just LIFE. Being responsible and adulting is hard work y'all haha. When I did a poll in my stories a lot of you said you wanted a variety of topics from funny stories, our best tips, and just real perspective on what being married is like! If you missed our 6 months of marriage update (which is pretty hysterical I might add) you can read that . Want to see more on our wedding and my tips? .
This was not easy to write! There's something about marriage that is so hard to put into words. When we're asked what our biggest takeaways are from our first year, I always struggle to come up with something on the spot. But after some thought, there are a lot of things that we have learned - and believe it or not we can barely remember a single fight we had (that's bc they were probably dumb).
Favorite Memories
Taylor - There are so many that it's hard to keep up! Our honeymoon ranks number 1. I had never been to Hawaii before and everything about our trip was incredible. I want to go back!! (Travel Guide ). Training for and running a half marathon together was a great memory that I'll remember forever (Blog post on our training and ). We both had a goal to achieve and it was so fun to tackle it together and encourage one another along the way. I really think this strengthened our relationship in the best way! Bruno Mars concert was amazeeeee. Having season tickets to UT football games and going to NOLA for the Sugar Bowl was so fun (our first spontaneous trip). Blog post on that trip .
Adam - I have a couple good memories I'd say were highlights in our first year of marriage. The first is definitely our honeymoon to Hawaii. Secondly, I don't know if this counts as a memory but owning a home has been so much fun! I really enjoy keeping up/maintaining the yard and making our house the best looking on the block! I've also gotten really good at grilling and cooking. With Taylor working downtown, it takes her a while to get back home so I've been making dinner a lot lately (with her instruction of course). I love serving her in ways like that to where it's one less thing on her to do list.
Biggest Pet Peeves at the Moment
Taylor - Let's start with when the dishes are done, he leaves them all out on the counter to "dry" even though they are already dried. The second thing that irks me is he will let that dang trash can pile up until you can't put another thing in it before he even thinks about taking it outside! Also when Adam folds the laundry he won't turn the socks right side out, so when I go to put them on they are turned the wrong way :) it's my fave haha
Adam - Taylor's alarm is obnoxiously loud and the worst alarm to wake up to in the history of mankind. It's the "Alarm" sound - who in the world wants to wake up to that?! She is really good at multi tasking and it drives me crazy that I can't do that! Like right now, she's preparing a post for y'all while listening to a podcast on full volume while I'm over here trying to finish this paragraph! Maybe that's not a pet peeve, but I'm actually jealous. She's also really good at blaming me for things that aren't my fault, just to blame someone ;) I'll gladly take the heat though haha.
Our Favorite Ways to Serve One Another
Taylor - My love languages are quality time and acts of service, and Adam is really good at them both! He always does the dishes for me after I cook dinner (sometimes he even cooks dinner while I'm on my way home!), so that I can work on blog stuff or cross things off my list. He helps me fold laundry once it's dry, and while I'm at work he will run emergency errands for me whenever I ask which is sooooo sweet and helpful.
Adam - Taylor does a really good job at encouraging me and affirming me. Even if it's for little responsibilities that I do, it's encouraging to hear that from her because it makes me want to do more. She is great at gift giving and also handles all of the finances b/c she's wayyy better at math than me ;). She and I both know, if I were to be doing the finances, we'd be in a lot of trouble haha.
What Not to Do
Taylor - My biggest advice - DO NOT COMPARE YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO SOMEONE ELSE'S. It is so easy to look at someone's social media and read their carefully crafted, uplifting words towards their spouse or bf/gf with their best photo they've ever taken together and think "wow, they are the best couple ever", "they probably don't fight about the dumb stuff we do", "her husband is the best leader, why isn't mine like that", "why doesn't my spouse plan surprises like that for me", etc. Don't get me wrong, I am all for improvement and believing that you can always be better (B/C YOU CAN), but don't let it cross that boundary from self improvement to jealousy and comparison. Slowly but surely if you keep the comparison game up, you will be fighting more than ever and will never see the best things about your spouse because you are constantly looking at their flaws. Unmet expectations (aka something you saw another couple do) are most likely the main cause of conflict, so do your best to be happy for others without asking your partner to be more like them.
Adam - Do not sign up for sports leagues without running it by your wife... haha. When you are married you no longer are just responsible for your own schedule and decisions. Your partner also may have something in mind for the both of y'all to do on Wednesday nights! Also, definitely do not try to watch Instagram stories or sporting events while your partner is talking to you. You will 100% miss every word they said. Oops.
Funniest Things in First Year
Adam - Well, we've had two similar instances with alarms going off in our house haha. The first one was the first night we were back in Austin from our honeymoon, I mean literally the first night in our home and right when we walk upstairs to unpack, the smoke detectors start beeping. Non. stop. It took us 45 minutes to figure out which detector was going off and how to change the batteries! We ended up going to bed at like 1AM and were exhausted but all we could do at the time was laugh. The second was our security alarm was beeping at 3AM, so Taylor and I got up to try to figure out how to turn it off. Right as I flashed a light on the symbols she confidently pressed the one symbol that has a police shield on it (face palm). The alarm was annoyingly loud and we scrambled for 15 minutes trying to figure out how to turn it off or unplug it! It took Taylor until the next morning to apologize for hitting the wrong button haha. Better late than never!
What are things you didn't think would be hard but ended up being hard?
Taylor - Finding community. It is not as easy to find friends as it was in college! You have to actively seek out friendships and be the one to invite others to an event or a meal. It's especially difficult to find married couples in the same age group or stage of life as us. Most of the people we've met are either way older than us, have children, or are single. 95% of the couples we have met that are married, moved within the first 6 months of us meeting them (not even joking, literally 3 couples we loved moved in the same year)! I love Adam, but I need girl time! Someone to get my nails done with, go shopping with and just vent to about things Adam doesn't understand haha. And Adam needs guys to go play pickup sports, grab an unhealthy meal and play video games with! It is tough finding that when you are first married, especially with how much we are out of town on the weekends. Hoping this next year we will be able to settle down a little bit<3
Adam - Marriage. hahaha. But seriously, Taylor's a tough little cookie! I guess that's what you get when a guy out kicks his coverage. Taylor is everything that I am not. She is neat and meticulous, and I am messy and laid back. She is an introvert, I am a big time extrovert. She hates sushi, I love sushi. Y'all get it? Marriage has naturally brought it's challenges and we have had to work through some tough topics like family, financial decisions, and pretty lofty goals (some that we are close to achieving)! Though it's challenging, it's also rewarding. Getting to do life together with your best friend is a dream come true! You make decisions together, you plan your life together, and you have a built in person to invite everywhere.
How to Deal with Conflict
Taylor - Call him "fart-knocker" it lightens the mood hahah. But in all seriousness, I am one of those people that cannot think about anything else when I am dealing with a conflict. I have to address it as soon as possible so that I can move forward! Adam is the opposite of me and could literally go days without addressing something, or never address it haha. So usually I am always the one bringing up hard conversations. Try not to raise your voice, share the truth in love, be slow to anger and quick to listen. I am not perfect and definitely get angry more than Adam does, so I am constantly having to check myself to make sure I'm not over reacting and to be conscious of honoring Adam with my words and actions.
Adam - Naturally I try my best to avoid conflict at all cost and with Taylor that ain't gonna fly! She's got these crazy spider senses that can tell when something isn't right or is bothering me. I have learned that being open to one another allows us to come together and understand how each other works soo that we can agree and move on!
When we got married I kind of had this picture in my head of what it would look like. First off, I thought we were going to be bored every single day after work. BOY WAS I WRONG. Hahah I've never felt busier in my entire life, which is why I am so thankful I chose Adam to be my teammate because He has the greatest heart and is so helpful when it comes to picking up his oar and rowing in the boat with me! I also thought we would take lots of walks around the neighborhood, develop a solid friend group and come up with traditions of our own in this first year because that's what I thought you were supposed to do. We occasionally took walks, we have met some friends but haven't had the proper time to invest in the way we would like, and have stuck to the same traditions our family taught us growing up hahah. A lot of that I attribute to being back in Dallas half of the time, but I wouldn't have it any other way! Many people probably think we are crazy for how often we go home, but we love celebrating family and investing in those relationships, so we make it an effort to be at as many events as we can. I know that everything is only for a season, so I want to be ALL IN for each one whatever that may look like.
I am thankful for the growth we've had over the last year and I can't wait to watch the rest of our story unfold!
Thanks for reading :)
