6 Months of Marriage Q&A
Today marks our 6th month of marriage! I can’t even believe it. It feels like it was only 2 weeks ago I walked down the aisle to say I do, it’s true when they say time flies when you’re havin’ fun! Of course it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but our first 6 months have started off on a pretty great note.
Right before we got married in May, we bought a house right outside of Austin. We furnished and decorated it within the first month of owning it. Adam missed out on the moving in part while he was finishing his last semester. We got married May 27th, went straight on our honeymoon to Maui, and hit the ground running when we got back. Adam started his new job literally the day after we returned from our honeymoon (that was a mistake haha), I jumped back into things at Oracle since I had already been working there for a few months, and then I started my blog a couple months later!
I thought things would slow down once we got married, but that was not the case. We always have something planned, whether it's parents coming to visit, us going home for a family gathering, or staying in to cross things off a to-do list. Even though our schedule has been full, it has been life-giving and packed with all things new!
I did a poll on Instagram last week asking y’all what questions you had for Adam and I regarding marriage. There are some fun questions, and others that really made us think hard! Let’s get started shall we ;)
What is it like living with the opposite sex?
Adam- Everything smells good. From the moment I walk into the kitchen, to the candle-scented bathroom and even her shoes smell good.
Taylor – That’s funny because I was going to say it smells worse!! hahaha. From sweat, dirty laundry all the way to bacon grease - it just overall smells worse than I’m used to. Hence all the candles haha.
What surprised you the most about marriage?
Adam - How much fun it was going to be. I mean I always knew it would be fun marrying your best friend, but I didn’t realize HOW much fun. Even trips to the grocery store are fun, cleaning is fun, and folding laundry together is fun. Doing average and sometimes boring things now become fun when you have a partner doing them alongside you and sometimes for you ;)
Taylor - I don’t think anything necessarily surprised me - I felt like I knew what I was getting into when I married Adam, especially since we have dated since high school. But to answer the question, maybe it’s how servant hearted Adam has been. I know this sounds bad because he has always been sweet and has served me well when we dated long distance, but ever since we got married he has really stepped into a servant role x100 and I am so undeserving! He helps me get out the door in the morning, helps me cook dinner almost every night and does dishes so that I can start working on my to-do list for the week! He’s the best :)
What’s worth fighting over?
Adam - Nothing. Because I always lose haha. But in all seriousness, nothing is worth fighting over because if you’re on the same team, and your partner wins - you win. If you have the same goals and are working towards them, the little obstacles in between aren’t worth fighting over.
Taylor - This is a lot easier to say than do, but to me the things that are worth fighting over are things that have long lasting impacts. Such as, investing in our relationship, the conditions of our hearts, family relations, financial topics, etc. If it won’t matter next week, then it’s not worth fighting over. I am still working on this btw! I am a perfectionist and I’m highly critical by nature. I am constantly evaluating things in my own life that can improve and sometimes it can turn into nitpicking Adam on little things that in reality don’t matter in the long scheme of things.
What makes marriage worth it?
Adam - knowing that are you going to be committed to that partner forever. There is something about committing to death do us part that lights a fire inside of you, we are a team and take on the world together no matter what happens. That alone is worth it.
Taylor - So many reasons! Having a teammate to conquer life with, gaining a life long supporter and cheerleader, both of us being emotionally invested in one another, and growing in our relationship with Christ and becoming more like him through our marriage. Oh, and IT’S FUN! It’s just fun coming home to your partner after a long day at work and giving them a big hug, take a deep breath and just enjoy the night that you get to spend together. I enjoy making dinner with Adam and talking through things on our agenda that week and then conquering them together. I love the days when we don’t have much to do and just sit on the couch and watch Netflix or a new movie. Every day is different and I look forward to each day we have together. Maybe that’s the long distance relationship talking ;).
Biggest pet peeves?
Adam - Taylor takes everything so seriously. Like, I’ll tell her my dreams every morning and she’ll start interpreting them to the Nth degree. Who does that?! She also hits me in her sleep. Maybe that’s why I have weird dreams. She wakes up soooo early on the weekends. I obviously really care about my sleep. Lastly, she is always looking at my toenails and fingernails to see if they need to be clipped. Like dang woman leave my toes alone. Maybe I should start wearing socks around the house. What do you think?
Taylor - Well to start, Adam doesn’t close cabinets. Ever. He will grab a bowl and then leave the cabinet wide open without thinking twice about it. Every bathroom and sink in our house is a mess. There is hair in the sink, leftover pee on the toilet seat (sorry if TMI but it’s the truth!), and leftover toothpaste on the counter at all times. And don’t even get me started about toenail clippings. And lastly, he is messy! He puts clothes on top of every surface that his eye can see. The chair, the floor, the counter, the dresser - you name it. Okay, rant over ;)
Hardest adjustment?
Adam - Always thinking about the other person before you. For example, Taylor has to leave for work earlier than I do, so I wake up at the same time as her (sometimes earlier) to make her breakfast or coffee before she walks out the door. Before, I used to wake up as late as possible before I headed out to classes or morning workouts. It’s little things like that that make me realize how selfish I can be. It’s natural for me to serve myself before others, but now I have to think about what I can do to help Taylor or serve her. I put my needs second in hopes that she is doing the same for me.
Taylor - In my opinion, the hardest adjustment has been making our family our own. What I mean by that is that it is difficult to transition from depending on your parents for help and advice, rather than going to your spouse first. I’m not saying it’s bad to go to your parents for advice, but what I am saying is that you need to go to your spouse first. They are your first priority and should be your new go-to when a problem arises.
How often do you talk about the future?
Taylor - this is an interesting question. Before marriage we talked about it a lot. And when I say a lot, probably a couple times a week. We would bring up finances, future budgets based on what job offers we had (or current jobs we had), kids, family dynamics, relational goals we had, etc. We wanted to make sure we were on the same page going into marriage. Now that we are married, we have talked about it a little less mainly because we are now living that future that we prepared for over a year ago. We talk about budgets bi-weekly because that’s when we pay bills, so that one is natural for us. But when it comes to bigger topics like future jobs, building a family, developing friendships, we’ve been kind of going on the fly and only bringing them up if they become a top priority. I’m not saying this is the way to do it. We have had a really busy 3 months of building my blog, going to lots of football games, and investing in new friendships, so it's been difficult to sit down and discuss the future! Today, at 6 months of marriage, we have started to evaluate what new goals we want to accomplish and set out to achieve together. Especially with the new year ahead, we want to make sure we are on the same page and are working together to help the other be successful in personal and partner goals.
Who does the chores and how did you decide?
Taylor - This one in my opinion isn’t that difficult to decide, unless you both hate doing chores! I like doing laundry, because it basically does itself minus the folding at the end. Adam usually does the dishes after I cook because he knows I have a lot of other things to do around the house or on my blog once I get home and he usually doesn’t. I enjoy cleaning, so every other week I deep clean our house. Adam will help sweep and vacuum, while I wipe down every possible surface with Clorox and clean the bathrooms. He takes out the trash every Thursday night. It just becomes a natural thing once you realize what needs to be done weekly. Talk about this with your partner - what chores do you like and dislike? And try to do the ones your partner dislikes the most. This will be overall a more enjoyable experience for the both of you.
How did you prepare for marriage?
We did marriage counseling the leading months before we got married. Our trusted advisor gave us a few books to read that would help prepare us for marriage and I highly recommend them for you if you’re married, engaged, dating, or even single. They each provide different insight into relationships, different ways to deal with conflict and a variety of conversations that are important to have before you get married.
The Right One: How to successfully date and marry the right person - I read this after Adam and I broke up during college and it completely changed my view on dating. It took the emotional aspects out of relationships and makes important conversations or topics the main factor on whether you are compatible with your partner. Obviously, this isn’t the end all be all on whether or not you should date or marry someone, but it does provide some clear insight into what are considered non-negotiables in the person you choose to date/marry.
Resolving Everyday Conflict -This book is good for any type of person. It talks about different personalities, how conflict usually arises and how to deal with it in a Christ like manner. This can apply to any aspect of your life, not just dating!
The Meaning of Marriage -Tim Keller did an amazing job with this one. This was our most recommended read before we got married. He does a great job at explaining what a Christ-centered marriage looks like and how to prepare your heart and mind for marriage. There are so many great examples and lessons in this book that I had never thought of before!
Did you enjoy this blog? I can’t wait to hear what your thoughts were or if it was what you expected! Let me know in the comments below :)
